One day, one day...when my inbox is empty.
Here are some resources for parents of teenagers about communication. This will certainly not be an exhaustive list - just some notes and resources that I used in our most recent parent education time.
I shared with the parents that learning to communicate well with your teenager about the small things will give you solid ground to stand on when it comes to the bigger stuff. Communicating with your teenager about faith can be daunting. When teenagers learn that you actually listen to what they're saying and actually care, they'll be more willing to listen to you about most things. Believe it or not, parents are still the go-to for teenagers regarding many issues. Don't take that for granted.
An interview with a neuropsychologist who shares that teens' brains actually work differently than adults' when processing emotional information from external stimuli. This is good information about how teenage brains interpret emotions and facial expressions.
Why Do Teens Act the Way they Do - an article based on the book Why Do They Act That Way by David Walsh. Good information about the teenage brain and how it is a work in process. The pre-frontal cortex, the part of our brain that helps us, among other things, to think through the consequences of our actions, helps with decision making, rational behavior, and mature judgment, does not fully mature until mid-20s. This info can give us some clues as to how we can use this information to better understand our teenagers and how we can communicate differently based on this information.
Practical help - Some practical strategies on how you can improve communication with your teenager
Parent Further - an effort of the Search Institute. Helpful information on everyday parenting issues. You can sign up to receive their free e-newsletter.
Social Media Parenting - Information from Brian Foreman, youth ministry consultant and social media educator. Great resources about social media and communication. Not just resources about how to make sure your kid is safe online but resources about how this relates to communication. You can also like Social Media Parents on Facebook.
Powerpoint I used for the parent education time. I can't promise that it will totally make sense, as I didn't use a ton of words. It does include a lot of Zits cartoons, which are extremely funny because they're what life is like with a teenager.
These are my notes from the parent education time. Again, can't promise they'll be helpful. I have realized in my years of ministry that I like to go find all the research (and I do mean all the research) on a certain subject. There was one time that, as I was planning for a youth retreat, I had to cut myself off at 36 pages of research (don't get too excited - I'm not that smart or wise; I was cutting and pasting, not typing). ALL THAT TO SAY that my notes may be wordy and not organized into neat categories, but if you're willing to read through my notes, you may find some helpful nuggets.
The page numbers that are referenced in my notes are from the book How to Talk so Teens will Listen and Listen so Teens will Talk. A good book about practical strategies with communication.
To You - a litany/prayer by Ann Weems. Beautiful reminder of the importance of cherishing your children.
As always I'm happy to help gather other resources or point you in the right direction.
Take Aways from our time together
- Most important nugget I took away from my 8000 pages of research - ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR FEELINGS. When someone brushes your feelings aside, you’re not likely to want to continue a conversation.
- A nugget several parents told me they took away from our time together - be careful about how you use sarcasm. Make sure you communicate exactly what you're thinking and feeling and, if using sarcasm, make sure they understand that you're using sarcasm (all this has to do with brain development stuff).
