Do families of people who are killed in Nigeria because of suicide bombers deserve our thoughts and prayers?

I haven't blogged in over a year, and all of the sudden, I've posted 2 entries in 1 day.  

FYI - the answer to the title of the post is, "of course, they deserve our thoughts and prayers".  It's just hard to keep them in your thoughts and prayers if you rarely, if ever, hear about these incidents.  

The attacks in Belgium are horrific. I pray for peace. My following rant isn't meant to diminish the unspeakable evil that this is.

I want to know why the 1000s of God's children who are killed in areas that are not a part of the Western world aren't the lead stories on every news outlet. I really want someone to explain it to me.

May we grieve over the following horrific incidents that are all considered terrorist bombings, which are just a small handful of the atrocities that hurt God's heart each and every day.

• 10/2/15 – Male and female suicide bombers linked with Boko Haram killed 18 people and injured 41 in Nigeria.

• 10/23/15 – 27 people died and 96 were injured in NIgeria by militants, supposedly with Boko Haram.

• 11/17/15 – 34+ people died and 80 were injured in Nigeria, supposedly by militants with Boko Haram.

• 11/18/2015 – 2 separate attacks in Nigeria killed 17 people and injured 123 by suspected militants from Boko Haram. One of the suicide bombers was an 11 year old girl.

• 11/21/15 – 4 suicide bombers killed themselves and 6 others while injuring 12 in the country of Cameroon.

• 11/24/15 – 13 people died and 17 were injured in the country of Tunisia by a suicide bomber.

• 11/25/15 – 18 people were killed and 10 were injured in Niger by militants from Boko Haram as well as burning over 100 homes.

• 12/5/15 – 30 people were killed and 90 were injured when 3 female suicide bombers linked with Boko Haram attacked markets in Chad.

• 12/12/15 – 30 killed and 20 injured and multiple villages were set on fire in Nigeria by Boko Haram.

• 12/26/15 – 14+ people die and an unknown number of people injured in Nigeria. The whole village of Kimba Village in Nigeria was burned down by Boko Haram.

• 1/15/16 – 22 people were killed by gunmen from Al Qaeda in the country of Burkina Faso.

May we not ever be indifferent to any of God's children being killed, be they in Richmond, the United States, our closest allies, or in Africa.

You changed the world in a mighty way

My dear friend, Bobby Black, died last week.  He had struggled with that hated disease Cancer for more time than should be allowed, which would be no time at all.  I have had family members to die before.  From my time as a teacher, I have known several previous students to die.  Bobby's death wasn't the first I have experienced.  But his death has stirred something in me that I have never experienced - EVER! Bobby was that kind of person.

As I struggle with my own grief - that I didn't spend more time with him, that we didn't find the time to share about life, that I miss him terribly - I wanted to write about him, to let you know what kind of person he was, how he taught me about Jesus and joy and genuineness in a way that no one else ever has, how he has changed the way I live my life (as well as 1000s of others - I'm not exaggerating) and how the light that he shared with the world might impact you through my words.
 
For the past 2-3 weeks, I have thought of Bobby every single day in some way.  I see a picture of him.  I remember how he made me laugh.  I remember the times we spent together. 

At Bobbyfest [a great celebration of his life after the funeral where we laughed and cried the whole time], I heard it over and over and over...

• He was full of joy
• He was the most genuine and authentic person I ever met
• I thought that we had a close relationship that was unique, and it turned out that so did the 800 other people at the funeral.
• He loved him some Jesus
• He loved me so well
• He always had a smile on his face

During the funeral, I thought of an exercise I've done with my youth before.  We wonder together what we would want people to say about us at the end of our lives.  What will you be remembered for, what was important to you, how did you impact others, etc.
 
No lie, Bobby's funeral was the epitome of the funeral everyone wants.  I'm hopeful that my words don't feel forced or fake, as if I'm just saying some nice things, creating a blog post to get people to read my post.  I can assure you - I'm not the journaling kind of guy.  The kind of person Bobby was in these words (no exaggeration at all) is the kind of person he really and truly was.
 
As I reflected on his life and our relationship these past few weeks, I really have spent a good bit of time thinking about how he lived his life and what a shining example of what a follower of Jesus looked like.  It really has changed the way I look at life and my prayer is that his life will have a lasting impact on how I live out my life - how I treat others, how I love my friends, how I exude joy.
 
Many of you remember the WWJD SWAG (What would Jesus Do).  It was a helpful way to think about how your faith impacts the entirety of your life.  For the most part, it was helpful, though it sometimes fell apart when you wondered what would Jesus drive, what kind of house would Jesus live in, what kinds of clothes would Jesus wear.  I digress...
 
Someone mentioned at the Bobbyfest that we should make up some bracelets - WWBD (What would Bobby Do).  A friend told me that the best way to honor Bobby is to live your life like he did.  He would wholly disagree with this.  He would tell us the best way to honor him is to live our life like Jesus, serving Him.  That's what he did.


At Bobbyfest, there was time to share about how Bobby had impacted our lives.  At least 2 people shared about their children who had become a follower of Jesus because of their relationship with Bobby.  One of these folks was now a missionary.  

Not only did Bobby impact my life in a powerful and life-changing way, I was blown away at some of my other friends and how they cared for him during the last months of his life.  My roommate in college who was one of Bobby's closest friends.  He put together regular e-mails to Bobby's friends to update them on his health, how we could care for Bobby, what we could pray for, etc.  It was a way for me to connect with Bobby, knowing that I couldn't spend time with him face-to-face.
  

To my good friend Adam, 

thank you for showing me what it means to be a true friend.

2 other friends told Bobby several months ago that they were his bucket list crew (I have no idea if this was their official title but it sure sounds catchy).  They were going to make his bucket list a reality.  So, the 2 of them took time from work to take him to the Grand Canyon.  On the day of his funeral, they were supposed to be in Puerto Rico with their toes in the sand.



 

To my good friends Butch and Patrick, 

thank you for showing me what it means to love.

 

This is a video tribute from a dear friend for a dear friend.  The first part of the video is from the camp where he worked every summer. The second song is by one of my favorite artists - Kyle Matthews. What a fitting tribute to a great man.  If nothing else, listen to the lyrics. They're powerful!
 

You changed the world in a mighty way.

You may not think you changed the world 

but you sure changed the world for me.

Bobby, my dear friend - I miss you terribly.  I know that you no longer are in pain, and for that I'm grateful, but I still miss you. I pray that the impact you had in my life will continue to be a witness to me as I seek to be a faithful follower of Jesus.  I pray that maybe just hearing about my experience with Bobby will give you pause to think about how your faith can impact this world in a powerful way and that we all give thought to how we go about living in our lives in such a way that honors God.  
 
My favorite quote, attributed to St. Francis - preach the gospel. When necessary, use words.  Bobby - I'm grateful that your life impacted so many people in this world simply by the way you lived it.  Thank you for your witness.  Thank you for being my friend.  

Oh yeah - I will look forward to whipping you in tennis when we reunite.

God, help me

This was a blog post I did for River Road Church a few weeks ago.

I hurt for people who are treated differently, for whatever reason.  In the midst of Advent, a season of hope, I hope for people of faith to actively work to break down the walls that separate, many of which we have erected ourselves (knowingly and unknowingly).  In light of what happened in Ferguson and in New York with the incidents with two African Americans and police, how will we respond?  As a person of privilege (because I was born in America with the correct colored skin and to a family who didn’t have to worry about where my next meal was coming from), God, help me to do something.

How will we respond – in our churches, in our schools, in our homes?  It is easy for me to sit on my couch, to be saddened at the goings-on in Missouri and other places around the world, and then just continue on with my life, not wanting to be bothered with the difficult reality of how I’m not really doing my part to make sure it doesn’t happen again, and then just continue on with my life as-is.  God, help me to move beyond just feeling sad.

We can talk about whether the police officers were “justified” or not (I have difficulty with justifying lethal force and violence, but that’s for another time).  We can have conversations about why there is more crime in certain neighborhoods or why people in some parts of the city struggle to put food on their plates or why prisons have a larger percentage of people of color than not (according to one statistic I read, African Americans make up 30% of the general population and 60% of the inmate population).  For those of us who are privileged (most of us who are reading this fall into that category), what will we do about this?  God, help me to move beyond just having conversations about who is at fault and move toward building relationships and working for justice so that these incidents stop happening.

We have some great opportunities at River Road to be involved in reconciliation – our prison ministry, CARITAS, CrossOver, ESL, the Richmond Baptist Centers, and the MICAH initiative to name a few.  All of these ministries provide opportunities to build relationships, to spend time getting to know people who are different than we are.  God, help me to actively work for justice for those who are treated differently.

Resources for parents to help with the season of Advent

What a wonderful time we had at our ADVENT-ure lunch - for children and families for a time of fellowship and learning more about this season of preparation we call Advent.  We had over 80 people to attend.  Many, many thanks to all the folks who helped to make our time possible – Ella Ryan, Meg Rooney, Beth Rooney, Lindsey Stevens, Jennifer Freeman, Jan Davis, Christine Kellett, Betty Rose Sexton, Tuckie Paxton, Jane Terry, Ann Bagwell, Margaret Almond, Peggy Stevens, Betsy Lowery, Russ Collins, Bonnie Way, Jean Cauble, Chuck Ursiny (sexton).  Folks who helped that I forgot to mention - my sincere apologies.

I wanted to provide you with the resources from our time together.  Here is the folder for Advent resources.  In the folder, you'll find:

Directions to make a pipe cleaner advent wreath - a good way for preschoolers or other children to have their own advent wreath and not have to worry about burning the house down.

A coloring book about the story of Jesus' birth.  A good opportunity for young children to have to color and learn about the story of Jesus' birth.

We created an Advent jar at our lunch (see picture below).  We took a jar and 25 popsicle sticks and wrote different ideas on each stick that will help us prepare for Jesus' coming.  Some examples:  Share your Christmas dinner with someone, do a favor for someone without being asked, or share your favorite Christmas memories.  A lot of ideas to choose from (the ideas are in the folder).  Each evening, as you eat dinner together, select one of the ideas from the jar.

Some general information for advent that will be helpful in talking with your children about Advent and its meaning.  You can create your own advent wreath (we actually used an advent "box").  We got a block of Oasis (floral foam), stuck 4 candles in it (3 purple and 1 pink) and then decorated with greenery.  There are all kinds of advent wreaths/boxes that you can create.  Google it (when did you ever think google would become a verb).

Making Advent Rocks, a neat way to tell Jesus' story, especially for prechoolers.  I had planned on doing this at the lunch.  Unfortunately, the rocks arrived one day too late.  I have created the pictures for each of the days listed.  You can find those pictures in the folder. Feel free to use all the descriptions or just some of them, or create some of our own.

Ideas for an advent chain (you would need to print out the sheet if you'd like to create an advent chain).  The idea being that there are 25 scriptures and your family would read one scripture each night, cut out the strip of paper with that scripture and create a loop. Each night, you'd add to the chain.  It's not necessary that you create a chain - you can still read the associated scriptures.

Using an Advent calendar.  At River Road Church this year, we are all using the same Advent calendar.  On the back, you’ll find some words you can say at dinner each evening, especially if you’re lighting a candle on your advent wreath. 

Here is a link to the advent information on the church’s website.  There, you can find some more information, including the daily advent devotionals written by our members and illustrated by our 3^rd-5^th graders.  The writers used the scriptures from the advent calendar above.  What a great way for our entire church to use the same resource.        

I came across a resource from 2012 (named Advent - Home Services in the folder) that our church put together that gives some ideas for some short worship services (a reading, a prayer, and lighting of the candle).  Similar to what is on the back of the advent calendar - just some different ways to share time together with your family.


I love to hear about what families are doing to prepare themselves for the coming of the Christ Child.  Share your stories and your pictures with me - what was meaningful, what ideas really stuck with your kids, what info helped you in talking about Advent with your family.  Always great to share what works well for your family with others.  We are a community and a support for one another.  

Let us take a deep breath in this season that many people spend their time and energy wearing themselves out instead of preparing our hearts and minds for the coming of the Prince of Peace.  May we be intentional in our preparation - in our words, but, more importantly, in our actions.



Some pictures (thanks to Lindsey Stevens for her great skills in taking pictures)

Why the Kellett kiddos take communion

It is likely the majority of our families at River Road Church, where I currently serve, do not allow their children to receive communion until they are baptized.  West, Mattie, and Marian do receive the elements.  Every time I receive communion, there is something unhealthy inside of me that thinks all eyes are glaring at us - "how could you let your kids take communion; they're not baptized; they don't understand the true meaning of communion. You're bad parents."  (I told you it was unhealthy).  In case your mind takes you to a bad place, the folks at River Road Church are loving and kind and I'm so grateful to be a part of this community of faith.

I initially wrote this post for the pastor's blog at church.  I share my thoughts as a way for all of us folks in churches to have some conversations about how we welcome our children in our churches.

I was limited in the amount of words I could use, so my thoughts are fully formed here.  When my inbox is empty :), I'll elaborate.

The Kellett children participate in communion, and they’re not baptized.  I wanted to share with you why.  Maybe this will help us think about why we take communion and the meaning it has for us.  I wish I had more space to develop my thoughts but, alas, my word count is limited.

I grew up in a Baptist church. Until I was baptized, I had to pass the bread and cup from the deacon to my dad without partaking.  I never understood why I couldn’t participate, other than I couldn’t take communion until I was baptized.  I don’t remember when I began to think about my own theology of communion – maybe when Christine and I became parents (that’s when you develop most of your theology anyway – “why did GOD make mosquitoes?”).  The most important part of our thinking about communion is that GOD’S table is a place of welcome.  Cecil Sherman would say that we don’t police GOD’S table.  Here at River Road, we talk about the gifts of GOD for the people of GOD.  Mike always reminds us that the table is not our table but the Lord’s table.

For us as parents, it’s not as important that they understand all the symbolism about communion. Children can’t think in the abstract until they reach age 11 or 12, so to expect them to understand all the symbolism about communion isn’t developmentally appropriate.  For us, it’s enough that they know that this is a meal that we share to remember how special Jesus is to us and we remember the last meal that Jesus had with his friends, the disciples.  And they know this because we talk with them about why we take communion on every first Sunday of the month.

For Christine and me, we want our kids to take communion because it’s something tangible and concrete our children can grab onto (both literally and figuratively).  I like what Andy McAllister said in the capital campaign video – “GOD meant for us to have all of our senses…fully engaged in worshipping [GOD] or GOD wouldn’t have given us all of our senses.”

We want our kids to take communion because it shows our children that they belong, that they are a part of this community.  As a community of faith, we need to continue to think about how we show our children that they are important to Jesus, important to this world, and important to this church.

Jesus said, “don’t prevent the children from coming to me.”  It’s important for Christine and me that we provide opportunities for our children to meet Jesus, to celebrate Jesus, to worship GOD, and to participate with their community of faith in remembering Him.

Youth Sunday

Really sad/mad at myself that I didn't get a group picture yesterday.
This one, from Passport last year, will have to do.

Dear Youth of River Road Church,
I don't even know where to begin.  Youth Sunday yesterday was fantabulous!!!  I wanted to share with you some of my own thoughts and some of the responses I've had from people in the last 24 hours.

• When we were at the U of R dining hall yesterday (BTW - I'm still full), I received a text from my wife Christine.  It said, "West (our 8 year old son) just told Mattie (our 6 year old daughter) that she should have been in worship because Youth Sunday was great!"  Christine didn't ask him what he thought about worship in order to set him up to say something nice - he shared that by himself.

• This morning, in staff meeting, the ministerial staff spent the better part of 15 minutes talking about how impressed they were with you.  Not because I asked them to or they felt compelled to say something nice - they genuinely were gushing over how well you led and how well you prepared to lead and that you had good news to share.

• For you to have made an impression on an 8 year old boy and on the ministers of the church is really, really impressive.  

• From an e-mail this morning - I have been involved with youth services, years ago in my home church, and really didn’t enjoy them, finding them stressful since I had a part in many of them.  In more recent years, I haven’t attended on Youth Sunday, taking advantage of a Sunday when the Chancel Choir didn’t have to sing by going to church with my husband.  But I am so glad that I attended yesterday.  It was as polished a service as I have seen.

• From a minister on staff here - A wonderful Youth Sunday (are we being permanently replaced??)

• Thank you for coordinating such a beautiful service today. The youth did a wonderful job with playing the piano and organ, hand bells, singing, reading Scripture, and providing the sermons.  The congregation enjoyed having them lead worship and were impressed with their maturity and expressions of faith.

• Amazing service today!!  It was absolutely beautiful.

• One church member told Dr. Clingenpeel that, when she arrived, she was a little disappointed when she realized it was Youth Sunday.  She had wanted "some depth" to worship.  After the service, she was so glad she came.

• People keep thanking me for yesterday.  My hope was to put you in a position where you could share your gifts and that I could help prepare you for leading in worship yesterday.  You chose the scriptures, you wrote the sermons, you wrote the prayers, you chose the litanies, you put the Children's Time together - you did it.  I couldn't be more proud - not because I thought you couldn't do it.  I am proud because, yesterday, people got to see what I get to see on a continual basis - teenagers who are extremely gifted and have the capabilities to help bring about the Kingdom of God here on Earth.  

• My prayer for you for yesterday - that you would lead in worship in such a way that pointed people to God.  When people left worship, I wanted them to have had a worshipful experience, not be thinking about how cute you were.  Don't get me wrong - you're pretty cool and awesome and cute, but I didn't want that to be what they took away from worship.  I wanted them to have a worshipful experience...and they did.    

• The following is a quote I put in the bulletin.  It conveys a lot of my thoughts about you and worship leadership.

Youth (and children) are often seen solely as the future of the church. This implies that they aren’t really a part of the present church. They usually have their own building, which is separate from the rest of the church, often because they are too noisy, rambunctious, and scary. When youth do participate in worship on Youth Sunday, people often want to applaud them for their performance. The thought for many is that this is a break from our regular worship.

This morning, may we see our youth as full participants in the present church. This morning, may we see our youth not as performers on a stage wanting approval, but as persons who will help lead us in worship. This morning, may we worship God together, as we do each Sunday.

• I had to correct 3 different people yesterday, who said that the Church is in good hands for the future.  I tell them they're right - the future is in good hands, but the present is in pretty darn good hands as well.  You are an important part of this community of faith, of this youth group, of this world RIGHT NOW. God knows it, I know it, so many people know it.  I hope you know it.

Whether you preached or prayed or read or sang or played or deaconed or ushered, every single one of you helped to point people to God.  Thank you for your leadership yesterday. Thanks for letting me walk alongside you on this journey.  Thank you for your willingness to allow God to speak a good word through you.  Thank you for the welcome that you have shown to me and my family.  Looking forward to many more years together.  

Danke Schoen [because I wanted to find another way to say thank you :)]

MK

Water Color by Emily Whitty

Bulletin cover drawn by Emily Whitty

The idea of the water color and the bulletin cover (this idea came from several youth, not just Emily) - the doors to the sanctuary are open.  You are welcome in this place.  

If I find out that there were more pictures taken, I'll share them with you.

Lenten and Holy Week Resources for children, parents, and families

I've pulled together some resources to help grand/parents and children and families about Lent and the events of Holy Week.

This document is some general information for families about the Lenten season.  It includes some general information about the season of Lent and some ideas for disciplines in which everyone in the family can practice together.

This document is some general information about how children of different ages understand the events of Holy Week and how adults can share the Easter Faith with children.  I am indebted to Carolyn C. Brown for her wisdom in the book Sharing the Easter Faith with Children.

This document is a good, 1 page summary of my notes about Holy Week.  Make sure to read the legend first.  Otherwise, you might be confused.

Hope this is helpful

MK